I'm Strucked

I saw this phrase from my lecturer's msn personal message, and it just strucked me. Deep down.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
loving someone deeply gives you courage."

I was in this euphoria. I was having faith in him, or us I should say.

He gave me all the strength that I need. All I thought was, as long as he keeps loving me, no matter how harsh or mundane this reality could be, I will still have the courage to face it.

Loving someone is not difficult afterall. Maybe.
There aren't duplicated "you", "him", "her" and etc.... everyone is different. The difference is what makes us special and unique aight ?

I'm hooked to one of the Carrie Underwood's song: Lesson Learned.

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

Perhaps I shouldn't have taken it as a lesson, guess it should be taken as an experience. For someone who came across my life, and then left me behind with some footprints.

My Final Semester's Comrades

I can't imagine what will happen to my third semester's assignments without the existance and assistance from 5 of you, my dearest comrades.

Kiat Boon, Kok Yong, Kenneth
Lian Wei and Ho Mun.

It's fun working with you guys. I kept rushing you guys to complete the assignments together as soon as possible for my own SAKE. I'm selfish ya ? Just because I want to spare time with him, i've allocated butterflies in your stomachs *evil*
Probably due to this reason, for the first time being ( first in my lifetime ), I need not rush the assignments at the very last moment. Well, guess you guys have to thank me then. =p

House of Leaks.

Leakage of the parliament building has been an issue to be debated on.
Well, usually in this apu-pun-boleh ( Malaysia Boleh) kind of country, you can imagine what had happened during the construction. *smirk*
However, menstruation - woman's monthly bleeding is also considered as a "leakage".

We can see how "boleh" is our country now.

The hall of Parliament, I thought, it should not be ventured by those unavailing and futile men. Look at both of them, do they look like elites that could help improving our country ? They should be abides by the rules in the Hall of Parliament, mis-used of language, can also be a crime.

In my humble opinion, this is no longer about sexist remarks anymore. It is more concerned towards the aspect of morality and humanity. Morally speaking, have they shown their respectfulness to the woman ? Nevertheless, where's the women's right ?

I've watch the screen shots from the Parliament Hall. For me, there weren't discussion, frankly speaking, those MPs were bargaining, eg: Pasar Pagi ?

Here are screen shots that I've made.
(How the menstrual remarks on woman MP happened)

BATU GAJAH TIAP-TIAP BULAN PUN BOCOR !!!

Look at the shape of his mouth. It spells B-O-Ooooo

Can YOU see ? He's pronouncing B-O-OoCoR.

See his right arm that was showing victory?
He "won".

*yea-right*

Another "elite", see how "pro" is he in delivering his so-called
speech ?

He was trying to navigate away from the boocor.
Took his note and mind the rest of the MP that his "hujah" is much important.
*cut-the-crap*

Both of them are a shame of all Malaysians. They are not qualified to speak at the Hall of Parliament to represent the country and citizens. Though we can't judge a book by it's cover, but they do not have the "professional" look on them. They have lustful look instead.

For more information:

• MalaysianBar
• ScreenShots
  

Till then. Good Luck to Malaysia and all of us.

The Fresh Pasta People

I have been craving for Italian food for quite some time. Usually I don't get a chance to enjoy these food coz my dear Papa prefers Eastern food.
A 100% China-Man.

But, ta-daa... Wee Ping and I went to Fasta Pasta at Ikano.
At last, my wish is granted. = )

These are the bread.

My favourite drinks: Affogato al Caffe
The new Italian sensation, expresso coffee poured over scrumptious ice-cream.
It gives your tastebud a B.L.A.S.T. *thumbs up*

Caesar Salad.
It is served with eggs, anchovies, turkey bacon, cheese, croutons & of course,
caesar dressing. This salad is slightly pricey but it's satisfying.


The pasta: Fettuccine alla Italiana
It is a tasty mix of sun dried tomatoes & capsicums, turkey ham, garlic & tomato sauce.
It is slightly thicker than "pan-mee", it would be much preferable if
it comes with more sauce.

After the dinner, me and WeePing were shopping at The Curve and Ikano with our bloated tummies. =___="
I'd managed to get myself a shirt though. =p
After this outing, I'm once more indulged in a stage of boredom.
Again. Geez......
I can't wait to watch Pirates of the Carribean : At World's End with ChinYing, Wen-Jun and WeePing.

Till then. Muah.

Fallen Apart...

I guess it's really true that I am notoriously prone to draw myself into utter ruefulness.
I've never stop wreaking havoc into my life, gave my heart vigorous rips and then drenched in anguish and torment. Over and over again.
I was constantly afflicted with the same kind of problem since the higher level of secondary.

I thought,

• If you truly love someone, try your best to lift up the barriers that separate you from them by accepting everything that they make you feel. The "everything" that I meant is including the weaknesses and flaws of your love ones. Nobody's perfect, regardless of how they'd claimed themselves with self-pride.
• You open yourselves not only for their hugs and kisses, but their insecurities and pettiness.

Love ain't about comfort, ease and mere fulfilment of desire. It should be about giving first, then only receiving. Have you ever heard about "give-and-take" ?
No one essentially knows what is about unconditional love, besides our own truly loving parents. Don't you agree ?

Desire ...
I was once standing hopelessly at the brick of his desires. His dream to have a young pretty lass, both inner and outer, could be impossible and unattainable for me.
He'd desired to have a perfect girl, from his point of view I meant. I do not know what's the means of perfection to him, but it's more than enough for me to withdraw myself from his life.
This is why when he requested for a break-up, I was being understanding to set him free again, to hunt for someone who's able to fulfil his desire.

I'm not someone who will feel happier to flit from one person to the next like a hummingbird, sucking nectar from one, and then move to another one before its runs into emptiness.

For once again, I need to re-collect the broken pieces of my heart and re-articulate them into a whole fine piece.

I know there will always be a missing piece, to complete the puzzle but it is yet to be found out.
I will be moving on as the Earth would never stop revolving.

Why not all of us try loving someone more than what we want from them ? Just for them. Not because of the beauty that drew you closer to them, or the bubbly conversations that you'd had with them, or the delusional "feel" that was recrudesced at split second.
Love them for who they are but not who you want them to be.
Be responsible by committing yourselves to the relationship, don't hide yourselves from the problems but defeat every obstacle and hinder, by all means, if you really love them whole-heartedly.

According to my mentor, Daisaku Ikeda Sensei:

Real love is not about two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. A shallow person will only have shallow relationship. If you want to experience real love, it is important to first sincerely develop a strong self-identity.
True love is not about doing whatever the other person whats you to do or pretending you are something you're not.
If someone genuinely loves you, they will not force you to do anything against your will nor embroil you in some dangerous activity.

If you find that you are neglecting things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you're in, then you might be on the wrong path. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals, while sharing each other's hopes and dreams.

Quoted by Antoine de Saint:

Love is not just looking at each other; it's looking in the same direction.

If I sacrifice my own growth and talent for love, I will absolutely not find hapiness. Till then, I should be paying enough attention for my coming Bachelor Degree.

PepsiCola CocaCola

Dear peeps, do you still remember the days when

• we had to hold a cup of water and brush our teeth at an open area ? like near a drain at our primary school's canteen ? and have nurses (which were still under probation) to check on our milk-teeth ?

• we had mihun soup, "chee cheong fun", curry mee, bread, cloud-nine chocolatez, nuggets and fries in less than RM 1 and a cup of orange juice can be easily obtained by spending 20 cents ?

• and well, those who had more than RM 1 during lower primary were considered "spoilt-brat", "high-classed people".

• we had fun during year-end, when we'd finished our finals.probably all-time-favourite for those who were "hardcore-players": playing "family-cards", UNO, monopoly, batu seremban, rubbers, wasting our exercise books for drawing and playing games, tearing papers to be folded into small pieces and used them for lastik with rubber bands ?

• we had fun so much fun during recess, well, weather played the most important role. skipping rope, pepsi-cola-ing (stepping each others' shoes and ended up being chased by rottan back at home), chasing after one another plainly for fun, bottlecaps and *drumrolls* ---- guli aka "da ho li" ?

• and not forgetting the Pendidikan Jasmani period. wearing PE shirt and start playing basketball like slam dunk, badminton and etc like a P.R.O. ?

• we had strips on palm/palms when we'd forgotten what should be done. esp when its 007 from Khe Beng primary ?
  

• we had those junk-food and ice-cream tubes (ice with colouring to-be-exact), where we usually bite it off from the top and glup it down ? for me, purple tasted the B.E.S.T. *slurp*

• we had those marvellous time for competing each another to finish up the writing exercise. chinese school kids, got what i meant ? *smirk*

• well, about homework. fui-yoh. procrastinated until homeworks were piling up.

Back then, we were innocent, simply adorable and the life that we lived were awesome.

• we don't use sms, because hp wasn't obtainable. It was not invented into a compact size. we called each other from house phones, would be either asking for homeworks and mostly, yeah, we asked for homeworks. and ended up chit-chatting.

• we shake our heads when we heard about kids getting way pampared by their parents by now. the R.E.A.L. spoilt-brats. and sighing we weren't as lucky as them.

Dearests, I know you are now smilling widely at your faces and within your hearts because all of the above mentioned, are the moments that we had.

We miss the days, don't you ?

Equanimity

.::~*Pieces of Min*~::.
Semester break has just started.
I've gone through my one-year Foundation in Science programme.Finally.
I have been longing for holidays, and undeniably, I will be craving for more by the end of the semester break.
The reason is simple, I'm reluctant to leave home.

I was longing for holidays, been imagining how much fun I would have during this period of time: spending quality moments with family, love ones and dearest friends.
Simply, T.H.O.U.G.H.T.S

Look back at my post's title, it seems unfamiliar. This is because I'd never realize this. I was always, being selfish.
When I'm in a bad mood, don't come near me. I might backfire you.
When I'm like a piece of shit, don't come near me either. I might throw my tantrum on you and make you a boxing-pad.

The term: equanimity.
It takes forever for me to learn it.
Steadiness of mind, even under stress and pressure.
I can't. Could you do this ?
Let's have a look at my previous post in friendster's blog:
.::Click here::.

And another question... love or infatuation ?
I can't answer this.
and I am sure no one has the answer for me.


p/s: this blog is still under construction, as my mind and heart are constructing from pieces. dearests, hope all of you bear with it first k.