Port Dickson

14th and 15th of October marked our academy R's entry into a new stage of improvement within the organizing committee and most importantly the empowerment of our faith in Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism. It was a marvelous trip, it is the only word that could be used to describe it.

I was one of the committee members and process of organizing this trip is not easy. This trip was not the first attempt of our committee members, we struggled and fought for our rights to organize a trip within our academy with purpose to strengthen the bonds between our young and youthful members of student division. However, so much that we have done, yet it does not suffice to convince the leaders above us to allow us for any trip. Mainly because they do not want to bear the responsibilities of our actions and the name of SGM to bear on any unwanted accidents.

Well, we, the committee members like us just couldn't get rid of our stubbornness in organizing a trip. We just wanted a trip so badly. So we prayed to Gohonzon in the approval and pray for several aims:

- The trip must be approved.
- The trip must be a great success, good weather and no accidents is allowed.
- The trip must be able to create and strengthen the bonds within us.

I have not done much about it but I am glad and gleeful to say that, I finally see the hope of academy R. Everything went perfectly well and even the weather was in favor of us.

During the trip, we played a game of "The Master and Angel". It was such a coincidence that I was a angel of a PIC named Kelvin and I had a angel with a name of Kelvin as well, who was also one of the PICs. Which means, I have shown apparent caring towards one of the Kelvins and another Kelvin had taken good care of me. So funny aight ?! = )

Due to some emergency matters, I was one of the drivers, only girl who drove. I knew it like few hours before the departure, gila sial can! I wasn't driving my own car neither, was stressful yet uncomfortable. But for the sake of the success of this trip, it was all worth.

Love you people. May the force be with everyone of us to strive for a better tomorrow. The past is not important anyway, everyone has a different version of it, stay strong buddies !

Beauty 7 Expo

Thanks to my cousin brother's recommendation, I have went through several days of being a salesperson in Beauty7 Expo which was held in Putra World Trade Centre for the past few days.
The results of my sales met my bosses' expectation, at least. That was so close because I thought I will "men-sia-sui-kan" my beloved cousin brother.

The experience was great. I mean, I had never step into any corporation for work and all I need to face was an environment which was entirely different from university. People whom I worked together were great company, even the bosses were because they picked me up for work and sent me back to my cousin's place every single day.

My cousin brother is considered as their business partner and they gave compliments towards my reputation in selling the company's product. I hope my cousin brother had better be frank in telling me all these but one of my bosses did informed me that she might call me up for work anytime whenever she needs me.

As a beginner in sales and marketing, I have succeeded in persuading numerous customers a day to purchase products from different ranges and prices from amount of RM 20 to RM 500++ only.
I saw my bosses' skills in persuasion, they were marvelous. *thumbs up* and I want to be like them.

May the force be with me in being a better person in present and future. Nite people.

The Past

Since young, I never fail to create an arrogant first impression to most people.
I'm indeed, very disappointed at the beginning. Pardon me. Yes, I hate it when this assumption was made.

How did I face this scenario? Initially, I had the intention to make explanation whenever people whom I first met tell me that I looked 'cool'. However, I was and I am still a young lass who hates routine, thus, I decided to shake it off.

This is because I can't change the structure of my face nor my expression. So, I decided to go along with it.
How?
Firstly, of course, being ignorant to people who point their fingers at me or tell me that I'm damn chesty.
Secondly, be even proud of having the face that I was born with.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One of my old buddies called up few days ago. We talked and we laughed our hearts out upon reminiscing the old time.
He asked about my previous relationship as well. He said I was tough because I don't seem to portray a single piece of sadness through my expression.

Well, a typical question from him would be :" Do you have a boyfriend now ?"
Before I answer his question, he reminded me that I'd better be careful because I have went through several unsuccessful relationships, subsequently.
Unfruitful relationships, probably due to:
I may have met with a right person at the wrongest time or
I may have met with a wrong person at the right time.
I did not rant about anyone, it is 'me' that I feel disappoint with.

I don't want to talk about the right person or the wrong person or whatever or whoever that is. This is because when I reminiscent about those days, the assumption made by adults were unusually true.

I think I've wasted time for otiose undertakings that can never be undone. Like anticipation of the phone calls, dates, presents and go ga-ga about how he loved me. I've neglected my studies for people who did not cherish my love towards them. I know it ain't about the fairness and equality like, you will be loved as long as you love someone whole-heartedly. Heck cares.

I've forgotten what I'd actually told my buddy through the phone, but I remember I said that I will never want my shredded heart to experienced the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, the sweet relationship did not last for years. A quarter of a year was more than enough though.

Dear mommy, buddies, thank you for making the effort to build my self-esteem and confidence, by lending me your ears and shoulders, and wiping off my tears when I felt cheated. I couldn't be tough and strong enough to face myself if it wasn't because of you. I felt being cheated because, for all the false perception that I had gave on particular someone and exceeded the greatest limitation of my tolerance, a way of loving him, I thought. Or maybe, it was due to the delusive hopes and promises from him. Loser am I.

Where are thou ?

or

Where's thyself ?

I choose the latter because I want to befriend with my thoughts and every little tiny bits of me. The effort of understanding me, myself and I, hope it turns up brightly.

I want happiness to be mine.

Till then. muah.

Tolerance

Look at the title once more.
Yes, it means the willingness to recognize and accept others "cultural".
Especially for those who live under one roof.

I'm learning to be patient. All and all I was just trying to do was to nurture an environment to allow myself to have a sense of belonging under this roof.
Cleanliness and tidiness.
I wonder how I stand with it.

I guess I finally know why I always miss home. Despite of the reason that I'm a 100% mummy-and-daddy's girl, it is mainly because I don't feel like a home under this roof.

One of the house-mates just can't be bothered.
Enough. I don't feel like ranting about him over here, since I just said that he can't be bothered.

I read through the recent political issues in Malaysia these few days.
The exact same song is being played, over and over again.
Racist issues; they never stop mentioning it from time to time.
The way how people with the same skin color as mine were treated, it is an open secret.
This is tolerance as well.

Somehow and somewhat, it must be within an extent without crossing a boundary.

Who cares even if you're wailing in anger and anguish besides our own truly loving family ?
They are those in a million that will tolerate with our attitudes and everything that we have done wrong.

I hate seeing one of my house-mates, how she held the conversation with her family.
I saw her mom tried her best to give everything that she could, but she just don't give a damn over it.
I feel like yelling at her face sometimes, but I did not. This is because, it is none of my business. I don't bother because she isn't anyone to me. Just as simple as a house-mate for a period of 2 years.

Till then. Bye.

Brand New

University life is inevitably fun. Minus the bits that we have to struggle for better grades and just got to try our best to enjoy the remaining study life.
My friends' quote:
Play Hard, Study Harder.
I have a few comrades who are motivating and striving for better tomorrow,
which makes me to heart them. = )


Well, frankly speaking. I treasure friendship. Ah-ha ! University is a place for me to meet people from all walks of life and I will make it as colorful as I wish.

Till then, got to be back for my revision already. mwah.

Heart You.

Living away from home jeopardized my life. One of my friends asked me:" How would you survive if you were to be miles and miles away, across the oceans and lands to further your studies ?"
My answer was, "I don't know."

There are too much of dissatisfactions, and discomfort;
living under one roof with a bunch of strangers is awfully difficult.

It's like a routine, I will be staying over at my friend's crib at least once a week. Credit goes to Kenneth because he's the one who picks me up.Before I realize, it's already the 10th week of my first semester of degree. I'm scared, insecure and prayers do not seem to calm me.

Dearest peeps, so much so that I hope I could bump into yous somewhere, so that you could tell me I'm still as tough as the one you use to see.

Yesterday was disastrous. Mommy's handbag got snatched by a "motorcyclist".
I would rather my bag got snatch instead of mommy because her left arms got bruises and scratches.
I felt so bad, I kept blaming myself for not being protective enough.

The incident happened at USJ 9, in front of Vietnam Kitchen and Nam Heong Chicken Rice.
Happily walking out from Vietnam Kitchen to get the car and then pufffff, the big fat snatch thieve just grabbed my mom's bag and ran. I still able to call Citibank to freeze her Master card and bring mommy to the nearest police station for police report.

I got damn pissed off with the police officers and sergeant. But I know this is one of the specialties of our "beloved" country and minus the bits that they have different skin color as me. I felt so content as I teased the sergeant. Well done aight. =p
I am used to the environment of police station and how to talk to those pigs. Why? Thanks to the inhuman creature back in foundation semester 1.

Then, I drove back to Setapak and unload my stuff. It was already near to midnight. Parents and sister went back and then, I burst into tears.

Heartache and disappointment. Indeed.

I Heart you my mommy. I love all of you.
I Heart you my daddy. Happy Birthday. = )
Although I don't get to celebrate with you, and yesterday's dinner ended up with the unexpected incident, but I hope daddy has an enjoyable and blessed birthday.
I Heart you my sister. The cheeky one.
Take care of your studies and mommy daddy.

I will take good care of myself. No worries ya.
I have buddies around here who could still lent me a hand when I need.

Shu shu, I heart you too.
So nice of you to send me a card from Malacca.
"Waddle I do without you?"
It simply applies on me too. = )
Hope that you are fine with everything.

Till then. *muah*

p/s: this post is written on 30th of July 2007.

Answered ?

Yesterday there was no water supply at Wangsa Maju, but there was Kenneth to pick me up to his house for a night = ) Thanks heaps !
They'd finally escaped from having Mamak and McD for every single dinner because they've ordered a catering service. Good for them aight = )
Okie okie, the moment of truth --- I went there to makan dinner la... its been a while since I last gathered with them, and yeah, I miss them, all of 'em.

And then, my course-rep went to appeal for the exchange of tutor for the subject - English for Engineering. Well, I guess the first part of my prayer has been answered and I shall pray more, with wishes to get a better tutor = )

I got to go for a seminar already though ...

Till then. See ya ...

Stay Outta My Way

*clear throat*
*squall*

!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*

Al-right, I shall stop abusing my blog. I fcuking hate one of my tutors very much, attending his class is inevitably an excruciation, because he never stops reproach his students, yes, we are the victims.

However, he is only a small character. It doesn't worth wailing in anger just because of a diminutive yet pathetic him. Enough. Period.

It's been 6 weeks, since I left home. From Monday, I will be counting-down the days to be back home, until Friday.

Ops-a-daisy, am I suppose to be blogging now ? (*whispering to myself*)

(Actually I should be memorizing chemical reaction by now for tomorrow's Mid Term)

Till then. I can't wait to be back home.

*muah*

Burf-Day

Yesterday was my dearest bubbly yet cheeky sister's birthday.
It was definitely the first time I wasn't at home to celebrate her birthday. I miss her, very much indeed. A BIG Happy Birthday to you my dear sis ! *muah*
Oh, remember to keep a slice of cake for me =p (don't you dare tell me that you've eaten the cake on my behalf =_=')

My studies is getting hectic but pretty enjoyable. Now it's only week 4, but I've gone through several quiz and tests, by the way, mid-terms are on their way. I'm not afraid of them, because University and Tertiary Education are what I had anticipated since young.
Finally I had experienced a little bit of satisfaction in getting myself to understand the concepts for particular subjects. I shall keep up with it and hopefully, I can obtain better CGPA in the end of Year One.

Mom, don't worry too much about me ya. I can handle with the ambiguities although I may seem dependent sometime = )
I got to go for my laundry already- hand-wash. No washing machine =(. And then continue with my revision and tutorials questions. Till then, I love you MOM, DAD and SIS.

Degree Programme

My Degree Programme has just started 2 weeks ago. Frankly speaking, I'm feeling lucky because I went for UTAR foundation. At least I found out that, the syllabus that has been taught by dearest lecturers back in Foundation Programme are really meant to ease us in adapting myself with the Degree Programme.

I saw coursemates from STPM and other Pre-U. were struggling, they are having difficulties in catching up with the lectures.
Apparently, all the Doctors give lecture like "bullet-train", no longer spoon-feeding students, promotes independant-learning and so forth.

I was facing trouble like this when I was in Foundation Sem 1.

Bachelor Degree of (HONS) Chemical Engineering. I am now dealing with numbers, formulas, logic-sense, chemitry, and computer language every single day. Whether I can cope with it or not is a myth.

Trying to tell myself not fagging and whinning like a big baby anymore, but I'm not able. I guess Im a real baby.

When I was waiting for mom's phone call, the condition is even worse still than waiting for bf's phone call when I had one.

I'm yawning already. Continue with it when I have the time. Good nite people.

Descriptive ?

It's darn difficult for me to decribe my own feelings and dilemma right now.
Challenges are irrefutably my biggest fears, let alone I have to leave my dearest family. They are my pillar, my source of strength, in conclusion, they've made up every single piece of me.
For your information, I'm staying at Wangsa Maju, aka MANGSA Maju.
Victims survive or NOT from criminals and robbers. *cross fingers* I pray to Gohonzon for every single one in my member house, for their safety.

Mundane life has just started. Time to struggle, try to keep up with my resolution --- do not procrastinate.
So far, I'm still able to obey my own command. Perhaps I know thyself a little bit more, I'm demanded to do so.

This is the only day, where I sleep after 12 am, during the previous two weeks , I was already sleeping like a pig on my bed. (upper deck of double decker)
My alarm clock, the antique type ones, fell from my bed and almost hit my roomate.
Phew.... so close!
Dad, mom and sis, I miss you.
Sis, I feel lonely without your singing.
Dad, I feel very lonely without seeing you reading newspaper with your spec at the couch.
Mom, I feel even lonely without you chit-chatting to me everyday. Phone calling is never enough !

Geezzzz, I don't get to go home this weekend...
I don't give a damn, I WANT to go HOME. I shall figure it out. Home-sick.
Home sweet home is inevitably true.

Nite people. Adioz.

I'm Strucked

I saw this phrase from my lecturer's msn personal message, and it just strucked me. Deep down.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
loving someone deeply gives you courage."

I was in this euphoria. I was having faith in him, or us I should say.

He gave me all the strength that I need. All I thought was, as long as he keeps loving me, no matter how harsh or mundane this reality could be, I will still have the courage to face it.

Loving someone is not difficult afterall. Maybe.
There aren't duplicated "you", "him", "her" and etc.... everyone is different. The difference is what makes us special and unique aight ?

I'm hooked to one of the Carrie Underwood's song: Lesson Learned.

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

Perhaps I shouldn't have taken it as a lesson, guess it should be taken as an experience. For someone who came across my life, and then left me behind with some footprints.

My Final Semester's Comrades

I can't imagine what will happen to my third semester's assignments without the existance and assistance from 5 of you, my dearest comrades.

Kiat Boon, Kok Yong, Kenneth
Lian Wei and Ho Mun.

It's fun working with you guys. I kept rushing you guys to complete the assignments together as soon as possible for my own SAKE. I'm selfish ya ? Just because I want to spare time with him, i've allocated butterflies in your stomachs *evil*
Probably due to this reason, for the first time being ( first in my lifetime ), I need not rush the assignments at the very last moment. Well, guess you guys have to thank me then. =p

House of Leaks.

Leakage of the parliament building has been an issue to be debated on.
Well, usually in this apu-pun-boleh ( Malaysia Boleh) kind of country, you can imagine what had happened during the construction. *smirk*
However, menstruation - woman's monthly bleeding is also considered as a "leakage".

We can see how "boleh" is our country now.

The hall of Parliament, I thought, it should not be ventured by those unavailing and futile men. Look at both of them, do they look like elites that could help improving our country ? They should be abides by the rules in the Hall of Parliament, mis-used of language, can also be a crime.

In my humble opinion, this is no longer about sexist remarks anymore. It is more concerned towards the aspect of morality and humanity. Morally speaking, have they shown their respectfulness to the woman ? Nevertheless, where's the women's right ?

I've watch the screen shots from the Parliament Hall. For me, there weren't discussion, frankly speaking, those MPs were bargaining, eg: Pasar Pagi ?

Here are screen shots that I've made.
(How the menstrual remarks on woman MP happened)

BATU GAJAH TIAP-TIAP BULAN PUN BOCOR !!!

Look at the shape of his mouth. It spells B-O-Ooooo

Can YOU see ? He's pronouncing B-O-OoCoR.

See his right arm that was showing victory?
He "won".

*yea-right*

Another "elite", see how "pro" is he in delivering his so-called
speech ?

He was trying to navigate away from the boocor.
Took his note and mind the rest of the MP that his "hujah" is much important.
*cut-the-crap*

Both of them are a shame of all Malaysians. They are not qualified to speak at the Hall of Parliament to represent the country and citizens. Though we can't judge a book by it's cover, but they do not have the "professional" look on them. They have lustful look instead.

For more information:

• MalaysianBar
• ScreenShots
  

Till then. Good Luck to Malaysia and all of us.

The Fresh Pasta People

I have been craving for Italian food for quite some time. Usually I don't get a chance to enjoy these food coz my dear Papa prefers Eastern food.
A 100% China-Man.

But, ta-daa... Wee Ping and I went to Fasta Pasta at Ikano.
At last, my wish is granted. = )

These are the bread.

My favourite drinks: Affogato al Caffe
The new Italian sensation, expresso coffee poured over scrumptious ice-cream.
It gives your tastebud a B.L.A.S.T. *thumbs up*

Caesar Salad.
It is served with eggs, anchovies, turkey bacon, cheese, croutons & of course,
caesar dressing. This salad is slightly pricey but it's satisfying.


The pasta: Fettuccine alla Italiana
It is a tasty mix of sun dried tomatoes & capsicums, turkey ham, garlic & tomato sauce.
It is slightly thicker than "pan-mee", it would be much preferable if
it comes with more sauce.

After the dinner, me and WeePing were shopping at The Curve and Ikano with our bloated tummies. =___="
I'd managed to get myself a shirt though. =p
After this outing, I'm once more indulged in a stage of boredom.
Again. Geez......
I can't wait to watch Pirates of the Carribean : At World's End with ChinYing, Wen-Jun and WeePing.

Till then. Muah.

Fallen Apart...

I guess it's really true that I am notoriously prone to draw myself into utter ruefulness.
I've never stop wreaking havoc into my life, gave my heart vigorous rips and then drenched in anguish and torment. Over and over again.
I was constantly afflicted with the same kind of problem since the higher level of secondary.

I thought,

• If you truly love someone, try your best to lift up the barriers that separate you from them by accepting everything that they make you feel. The "everything" that I meant is including the weaknesses and flaws of your love ones. Nobody's perfect, regardless of how they'd claimed themselves with self-pride.
• You open yourselves not only for their hugs and kisses, but their insecurities and pettiness.

Love ain't about comfort, ease and mere fulfilment of desire. It should be about giving first, then only receiving. Have you ever heard about "give-and-take" ?
No one essentially knows what is about unconditional love, besides our own truly loving parents. Don't you agree ?

Desire ...
I was once standing hopelessly at the brick of his desires. His dream to have a young pretty lass, both inner and outer, could be impossible and unattainable for me.
He'd desired to have a perfect girl, from his point of view I meant. I do not know what's the means of perfection to him, but it's more than enough for me to withdraw myself from his life.
This is why when he requested for a break-up, I was being understanding to set him free again, to hunt for someone who's able to fulfil his desire.

I'm not someone who will feel happier to flit from one person to the next like a hummingbird, sucking nectar from one, and then move to another one before its runs into emptiness.

For once again, I need to re-collect the broken pieces of my heart and re-articulate them into a whole fine piece.

I know there will always be a missing piece, to complete the puzzle but it is yet to be found out.
I will be moving on as the Earth would never stop revolving.

Why not all of us try loving someone more than what we want from them ? Just for them. Not because of the beauty that drew you closer to them, or the bubbly conversations that you'd had with them, or the delusional "feel" that was recrudesced at split second.
Love them for who they are but not who you want them to be.
Be responsible by committing yourselves to the relationship, don't hide yourselves from the problems but defeat every obstacle and hinder, by all means, if you really love them whole-heartedly.

According to my mentor, Daisaku Ikeda Sensei:

Real love is not about two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. A shallow person will only have shallow relationship. If you want to experience real love, it is important to first sincerely develop a strong self-identity.
True love is not about doing whatever the other person whats you to do or pretending you are something you're not.
If someone genuinely loves you, they will not force you to do anything against your will nor embroil you in some dangerous activity.

If you find that you are neglecting things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you're in, then you might be on the wrong path. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals, while sharing each other's hopes and dreams.

Quoted by Antoine de Saint:

Love is not just looking at each other; it's looking in the same direction.

If I sacrifice my own growth and talent for love, I will absolutely not find hapiness. Till then, I should be paying enough attention for my coming Bachelor Degree.

PepsiCola CocaCola

Dear peeps, do you still remember the days when

• we had to hold a cup of water and brush our teeth at an open area ? like near a drain at our primary school's canteen ? and have nurses (which were still under probation) to check on our milk-teeth ?

• we had mihun soup, "chee cheong fun", curry mee, bread, cloud-nine chocolatez, nuggets and fries in less than RM 1 and a cup of orange juice can be easily obtained by spending 20 cents ?

• and well, those who had more than RM 1 during lower primary were considered "spoilt-brat", "high-classed people".

• we had fun during year-end, when we'd finished our finals.probably all-time-favourite for those who were "hardcore-players": playing "family-cards", UNO, monopoly, batu seremban, rubbers, wasting our exercise books for drawing and playing games, tearing papers to be folded into small pieces and used them for lastik with rubber bands ?

• we had fun so much fun during recess, well, weather played the most important role. skipping rope, pepsi-cola-ing (stepping each others' shoes and ended up being chased by rottan back at home), chasing after one another plainly for fun, bottlecaps and *drumrolls* ---- guli aka "da ho li" ?

• and not forgetting the Pendidikan Jasmani period. wearing PE shirt and start playing basketball like slam dunk, badminton and etc like a P.R.O. ?

• we had strips on palm/palms when we'd forgotten what should be done. esp when its 007 from Khe Beng primary ?
  

• we had those junk-food and ice-cream tubes (ice with colouring to-be-exact), where we usually bite it off from the top and glup it down ? for me, purple tasted the B.E.S.T. *slurp*

• we had those marvellous time for competing each another to finish up the writing exercise. chinese school kids, got what i meant ? *smirk*

• well, about homework. fui-yoh. procrastinated until homeworks were piling up.

Back then, we were innocent, simply adorable and the life that we lived were awesome.

• we don't use sms, because hp wasn't obtainable. It was not invented into a compact size. we called each other from house phones, would be either asking for homeworks and mostly, yeah, we asked for homeworks. and ended up chit-chatting.

• we shake our heads when we heard about kids getting way pampared by their parents by now. the R.E.A.L. spoilt-brats. and sighing we weren't as lucky as them.

Dearests, I know you are now smilling widely at your faces and within your hearts because all of the above mentioned, are the moments that we had.

We miss the days, don't you ?

Equanimity

.::~*Pieces of Min*~::.
Semester break has just started.
I've gone through my one-year Foundation in Science programme.Finally.
I have been longing for holidays, and undeniably, I will be craving for more by the end of the semester break.
The reason is simple, I'm reluctant to leave home.

I was longing for holidays, been imagining how much fun I would have during this period of time: spending quality moments with family, love ones and dearest friends.
Simply, T.H.O.U.G.H.T.S

Look back at my post's title, it seems unfamiliar. This is because I'd never realize this. I was always, being selfish.
When I'm in a bad mood, don't come near me. I might backfire you.
When I'm like a piece of shit, don't come near me either. I might throw my tantrum on you and make you a boxing-pad.

The term: equanimity.
It takes forever for me to learn it.
Steadiness of mind, even under stress and pressure.
I can't. Could you do this ?
Let's have a look at my previous post in friendster's blog:
.::Click here::.

And another question... love or infatuation ?
I can't answer this.
and I am sure no one has the answer for me.


p/s: this blog is still under construction, as my mind and heart are constructing from pieces. dearests, hope all of you bear with it first k.